i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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