I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
