I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
