OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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