Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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