my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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