I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
