Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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