is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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