Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
