Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
