I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
