how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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