you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize