i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
