i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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