i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
