I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
