There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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