Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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