An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
