walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
