drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
