at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When are your genitals available?
Randomize