so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
