shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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