There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I pour the whiskey from now on
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
