I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
