She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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