And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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