yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize