Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
