so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
