Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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