i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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