my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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