Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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