ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
