The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
