Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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