I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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