He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
