i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
