I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
