u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize