fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
