just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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