he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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