just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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