Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
