Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have aggressive nipples.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
