my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
