Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
