if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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