Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
