Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
