new low.... made out with someone while peeing
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
