I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
