Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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