You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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