yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
