What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize