once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
