Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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