Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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