idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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