New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
