Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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