I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize