i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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