was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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