Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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