the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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