I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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